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Translation A | Translation B |
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When the phone rang I was in the kitchen, boiling a potful of spaghetti and whistling along with an FM broadcast of the overture to Rossini’s The Thieving Magpie, which has to be the perfect music for cooking pasta. |
I’m in the kitchen cooking spaghetti when the woman calls. Another moment until the spaghetti is done; there I am, whistling the prelude to Rossini’s La Gazza Ladra along with the FM radio: Perfect spaghetti;cooking music! |
I wanted to ignore the phone, not only because the spaghetti was nearly done, but because Claudio Abbado was banging the-London Symphony to its musical climax. |
I hear the telephone ring but tell myself, ignore it. Let the spaghetti finish cooking. It’s almost done, and besides, Claudio Abbado and the London Symphony Orchestra are coming to a crescendo. |
Compare the two translations on the basis of the following points: (i)the tense of narration (past and present tense) (ii)short, incomplete sentences (iii)sentence length
(i)Translation A is in the past t ense while translation B is in the present tense. (ii) Translation A has complete sentences while translation B has short, incomplete sentences. (iii) Translation A has long sentences while translation B has short sentences. I prefer translation B because it is more direct and uses powerful language with a lot of imagery. It uses more personal language which is the way it should be in stories and novels.